READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
