Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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