my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
