based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
