So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
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Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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