K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
