The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
