just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
