.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
