I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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