Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
