its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
