he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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