hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
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You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
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He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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