wake up i wanna do it froggy style
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
