hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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