So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
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Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
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I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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