This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize