is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
