i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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