We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
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When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
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Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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