I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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