Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
