There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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