I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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