i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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