"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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