I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
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I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
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So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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