whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize