Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
