and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
