OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You're breaking my sexual little heart
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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