Its about making memories worth repressing
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
