How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
