Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
