South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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