i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
