I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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