His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
