His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
