Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
