Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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