I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
