Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I looked at my own cervix.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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