I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
