Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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