Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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