My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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