terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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