just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
