I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
