This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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