we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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