The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
