But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
