i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize