saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She even gives head with a lisp.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
