we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
