watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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